I Didn’t Expect… the Competition

I didn’t expect that there would be such intense competition in our adopted children.

I am floored by the apparent greed and jockeying for attention that I see in Lila and Ella. Yes, I know all kids are competitive and greedy. It in our nature! But what we have seen has been on a whole different level.

I think it is rooted in their attempts to find their place in our family. They are trying to learn the boundaries and ever so slowly I hope they can begin to understand that our love is not expressed solely through which child receives the most privileges.

Lila must do EVERYTHING, and say EVERYTHING, and get EVERYTHING that all four of the other children do, say or get. If for some reason she is unable to do, say, get the exact same thing (or more) than the others, we invariably get to giant dose of pouting and/or crying. It is a constant behavior issue with her and it really wears on me hour after hour, day after day.

For Ella, it all comes through in tears and hitting. As soon as I talk to, hug, or give attention to another child, she is crying and hitting either me or someone else. If, however, no one else is getting attention from me, Ella wants nothing to do with me. Oh, how I hope these behaviors will lessen as time passes!